Future of Shared Human Experience

For the past few weeks I have been deeply reflecting on an issue which I found myself surprised to be affected by.

I found myself being extremely concerned about how society will transform given the advancements in technology specifically in the areas of artificial intelligence (AI), virtual reality and neuro-technology. The future seems to be heading towards having at least an additional reality to participate in with the physical reality as we know today becoming less relevant akin to the portrayal of society in the movie Ready Player One.

This topic I suppose, emerged primarily as a result of my exposure to content pertaining to psychology, neurology and technology for the past 6 months which ranged from materials by Dr Jordan Peterson, Dr Richard Haier, Elon Musk, Nicholas Carr and others. 

And this seemed reasonably natural.

However, what I found fascinating is why this issue has lately acutely struck me.

At the outset I thought it is because I know that the transformation has already begun. Culturally as a society we are ever more dependent on our smart devices for digital connectivity to a point where our brains now map our phones as an extension to our biological-selves.

I understood that the regular use of social media and the internet in general – how it is engineered to continually grab our attention in bite sized portions and leveraging on addictive behaviour – would affect my memory and attention span; I realize I transitioned from not reading the entire article to reading only the headlines to reading only parts of headlines and not bother completing them.

But I found that my profound concern on the plausible direction humankind is heading to stems from a recent self awareness of a deeper alteration in my neurological function/faculty: the way I am processing information is reconfiguring. While I am cognizant of the neuroplasticity of our brains, it is something else to be consciously self-aware of such a fundamental change. It is actually frightening. 

I see evidence of this in how I am unable to fully grasp the information I habitually and/or consciously consume from the screen. I could spend an hour flipping through news articles on Facebook and yet the end did not really gain anything out of it. In fact it feels like a complete waste of time. Admittedly I have partly lost that ability to meaningfully consume and synthesize information despite putting in somewhat concentrated effort.

As we welcome and immerse into the virtual world that is approaching, I wonder what other parts of our current selves that would be compromised in this technological venture.

In a dialogue between Socrates and Phaedrus documented by Platos in 370 BC, they weighed the adoption of writing. Socrates made a reference to a tradition where one of the kings of Egypt, Thamus who was also an inventor of many arts and sciences argued against writing as those who rely on reading for their knowledge will “seem to know much, while for the most part they know nothing.” They will not be “filled with wisdom, but with the conceit of wisdom” and that inscribing and reciting symbols which are resemblances of knowledge prevents us from achieving the emotional and intellectual depth that leads to wisdom and true happiness. 

When we as a species embraced the technology to write and learned to read, we have possibly compromised some capacity to express, appreciate and internalize the spoken word as we previously did. In the same vein, our neurological circuits today are rewired to the technology we interface with, transmuting and sacrificing parts of senses, processes and selfs (intellectual, emotional, physical etc.). We biologically respond to the technology we choose to embrace.

It is in my view that we are at the same cross junction as when the above dialogue took place; likely a more important and crucial one. Today, serious deliberation needs to take place of the role, function and involvement of technology in view of the inevitable continual evolution of the cybernetic AI-infused collective, and its symbiotic interface with ourselves. 

We need to steer this technological machination within the measured course before it redefines reality for us, and moreover consciously and carefully map the next phase of the shared human experience. 

House of Cards

4 years.

That is the time it took for me to build a solid regime that I could stick to where I felt most productive and fulfilled. It had all the ingredients I wanted and perhaps needed; all in palettable portions. I was efficient. I was on the ball. I was always moving, I was excited, I was motivated, I was exhausted in a positive way, I was happy. I was really enjoying the journey.

At the peak of it I was sleeping almost exactly 6 hours a day. In a week, I managed to divide my time to exercise my various “selfs”;

1. Physical;
2. Mental;
3. Emotional; and
4. Spiritual.

I too strived to apportion time for religion, family, community and myself.

In creating and adopting this regime I discovered a new angle in the importance of discipline. Through my errors, I learnt the hard way that as much as it is important to be disciplined to start doing productive work, it is as equally important to stop when it is time to.

That perfect dream-like routine occasionally came down like a house of cards. What’s fascinating is that they are almost always due to the same reason. It’s usually because on some nights, instead of sleeping by 12am, I would refuse to stop working my assignment/studying until I completed a certain milestone. While that sounds reasonable and responsible to do, unfortunately it threatens the whole system I had painfully built over days or weeks.

The act of adding just one more card into the structure triggers the collapse of the entire formation.

An additional 10 mins of seemingly harmless well-intentioned work results in either slightly less sleep or oversleeping my usual wake-up time is equivalent to throwing a wrench into the cogs. One cog. Two cogs. Then everything crashes. Dramatic as it seems, with a small nudge in my system, I found my “selfs” to be quickly tilted out of balance and needing realignment. 

And those cards on the table? It takes serious time to rebuild anything decent.

Reflection

Within the past few years I’ve had 2 instances where I’ve felt so close to death.

On both occasions, after being paralyzed for a brief period I reactively contemplated on the same themes: my relationship with God, with people, and surprisingly, my failures. While the first two themes were straightforward to reflect on, the last took awhile to unpackage as it showed itself as an image that I didn’t quite understand. As of recently,  I’m sure what it represents. It speaks of endeavour and missed opportunities.

I’m taking this to as some guidance on aspects of my life to work on.

Almost Gone

I had a lot on my mind.

I put away my earphones to have that conversation in my head. Dinner was just a road crossing away. The red man was on so I waited. I felt a buzz in my pocket. I started replying.

Mid-way through the text, I had a sudden thought – did I have enough cash to pay for dinner?

I reached for my wallet, and was about to get a glance of my notes when I heard a Chinese lady shouting at me from a distance.

Before I got to fully turn my head I was stunned by glaring orange headlights that were coming at me. 

I was in the middle of the road.

The silhouette of the yellow car against the backdrop of the night became focused. The blaring of vehicles came on like a switch.

I jumped onto the next lane where a double decked bus was approaching and was only metres away.

When I made it across, I got stared at by an onlooker and could still hear the lady’s nagging. She sounded distressed and from her tone, I guessed she was scolding me. I was confused.

I think I began unconsciously walking when I started using my phone, and stopped when I reached for my wallet. 

This has never happened. And I rarely text and walk. 

I did had a lot on my mind.

Spheres

Upon my return from a volunteer trip to Indonesia, my Director at my workplace who was previously a social worker asked me, “So what is real? Is that real or is our lives here real?”.

“I believe we exist in different realities”.

In a stride to be better, I’ve taken it upon myself to routinely step out of my personal day to day sphere of reality. I believe that by not taking conscious and continuous effort to forcefully peek my head out of the everyday reality I navigate, it would only reinforce and normalize my perspectives and experiences straying me further away from the realities of others.

While constant reminders of perennial issues such as war and poverty flashes on all forms of media, the messages and images conveyed desensitize quickly over time. Like how we change up our workout regimes when we reach a plateau, I apply the same principle in trying to keep myself grounded, humbled, and reminded of others’ situations and plights wherever I can, and at the same time acknowledge that some issues are extremely remote to empathize with.

I attempt this by physically involving myself in activities that are beyond and far from what I witness daily. This includes participating in activities or travelling to places where the people, their lifestyle and conditions feels alien (it does not have to be done abroad). Genuine experiential engagement in the others’ milieus has been effective in creating that connection.

One of the triggers that pushed me into adopting this mindset was when I realized how foreign I felt with issues that are so important and yet I felt a great disconnect with. I still continue to pop my head in and out of reality spheres of others’; some spheres regularly with hopes to create lasting and meaningful impact, and others to self-educate, self-remind and self-motivate.

 

 

Principles. Values. Beliefs. Faith.

It’s easy to say I believe in this, and I don’t believe in that.

Proclaiming a belief is one thing but to take action on it, to manifest its values and principles is another. To me (just me) even practising (without contest/challenge) is not a true declaration of it. The only way is to be tested.

To put it in another way, what sacrifices have we made to stand by our values?

At what lengths are we willing to standby what we say believe in, and how much pressure and temptation can we sustain until we give in?

I have seen cities. I have seen slums.

After consciously accepting a way of  life which basis is to be service of others, I feel guilty at the thought of spending a relatively large sum on a graduation trip. A friend initiated for a weeks-long trip to a not-so-very-near-place. I reflected on what this trip means to me and what it symbolizes. Yes. Congrats to myself on graduation – I deserve a holiday. Is that it? For the feel-good? For the stories to tell? For the last-ever-long-trip-before-I-work-till-my-death? Do I need it, or am I already in deep appreciation of the wonders of the natural world?

I am super blessed to be well traveled. Mostly because my mum sees the value in travelling, and thus supports it, and also due to the fact that she used to work in the industry, and thus more opportunities.

With my experience, not that it’s extensively far and wide, I think I have seen enough. I mean, what else is there to see? Yes, difference sceneries, different wonders, different living environments, the food, the people etc. But what exactly will I see next or experience that will impact how I see the world or how I conduct myself differently?

And with all that I have seen and experienced, how much of that time, energy and money spent has affected me on the inside?

While is not my complete perspective on the topic, it’s one of the few discussions I have.

By my measure, a successful week.

Just realized that I’ve met up with almost all my closer friends in the last 7 days. With one of the groups, we realized that as close as we are, we don’t even meet much. One of us went for the “it’s-the-quality-that-counts” argument but we almost immediately burst out laughing cause the things we talk about are nonsensical. We were kids in office wear laughing our assess of at coffeeshop. Great night my brothers.

The resurfacing of tragic news regarding one of my teachers has also brought together my good friends who’re now all around the world. The people who made life so much better back in Junior College. Thank you for being a part of the best time of my life – introducing to me music and sports.

Apart from socializing, I managed to go for both of my religious classes, play an 11 a side game football with a brand new team (that I’m looking forward to train and play with), worked on the weekends, and completed a teaser video for a project I’m doing with one of my school’s society. Oh. Completed my one of my mum’s book too!! 🙂

Looks good aye? Social, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, physical aspects; checked.

One important thing that’s lacking would be legit quality time with family.

Friendships.

For most of my life I don’t think I was ever a good friend. It’s something I only learnt in the recent years when I start to realize that it takes effort, and not just chemistry.

One of the gestures that made me realize how shit of a friend I am is when this friend of mine – whom I’m even that close to – made handmade personalized gifts – which looks AMAZING – and on top of that, bought a legit present (a shirt for me) which she thinks we’ll personally like, for everyone in the clique when she was studying overseas. Since then, I’ve tried to be better.

Other than me being the private person that I am, while there are times when I do want to socialize, there are usually 2 things that restraints me. Money and activity. It’s not that I’m broke as hell but sometimes it just costs too much to hang out with certain groups. Fortunately I don’t succumb to pressure that easily.

Secondly, the activity. My group of friends really like playing card games, bowling and playing a certain online game. Sorry but I just don’t enjoy those. And when I do join, it’s for the sake of being with them.

I honestly just want to talk lol.

Oh, and there’s this quote which I posted on Instagram about 2 years ago which made a great impact on how I treat relationships:

 

I am ready to die

I literally said that to my friends when I achieved, what to me was a yuge success in my life. I felt that I have fulfilled my purpose at 14 years old.

Looking back, I played this certain online game for 9 long years. I played actively for 5 years and inactively for 4. I played competitively for about a year or two. Surprisingly, I have never brought this up in self-introductions or conversations. I mean it was a significant part of my teen-hood and yet somehow it loses its weight in my identity when I socialize in the real world. Is it shame/embarrassment? I don’t think so.

I actually learned A LOT from the game. Things like patience, tolerance, leadership skills, other cultures and whatnot. I was so passionate about it that I prepared a proposal to host a local competition in my school. It was rejected due to the possibility of indecency of the character models.

My team and I were pretty popular even before reaching top 5 (in the world) status. We self-proclaimed to be the largest, most active Singapore-Malaysia clan, which I believe is true. At one point I decided to create like 5 sub-clans under me – that’s like a potential of 480 players under me, which is not ambitious, it’s stupid.

I liked the power and the fame. I participated in a couple of competitions and did manage to win some $$ and recognition. In real life people knew me as “My-in-game name” in the game. One day, my sister, who studies in another school told me that her friends knew me and I’m like coool. My dad, who doesn’t know much about the internet (at that time) and of course the game itself, knows that I’m “somebody” online. He would come in my room sometimes and ask me how I was. He didn’t call me by my birth given name but he calls me by my in-game-name. It’s his way of showing he cares. ❤

No doubt I had haters and I’d totally understand why – I was an attention seeking #%#$. I mean I literally hosted games, just so that I could publicize my name and my clan. Noone else does that. NOONE.

People moved on. I moved on. In secondary school I realized “fame”, or simply just “being known” to many is not all good. I was used. I felt I was watched. And there’s this pressure on me to meet certain expectations. This makes a brilliant segue into another episode of me turning into a super private person that HATES attention but that’s all for now.
bye 🙂

Side note: I’m trying to start the habit of
         1. “ending” my day at 9pm, sleeping by 11pm
         2. writing